Navy Parody Poetry: Norrington is Coming to Town

[honorat]

by Honorat
Rating: G (for good grief!)
Disclaimer: I swear I shot that demented muse against a wall at dawn, but the bloody thing is cursed. Zombie Parody Muse strikes again!

Summary: The Commodore was not amused that That Pirate was getting all the Christmas carols. So here's one for you, James! To the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town".

* * * * *

Norrington is Coming to Town!

You better watch out.
You better not loot.
You better not poach or pilfer or shoot.
Norrington is coming to town.

He's making a list, checking it twice,
Gonna find out who wallows in vice.
Norrington is coming to town.

He sees you when you're plundering.
He’s following in your wake.
He knows if you've been bad or worse,
So run fast for goodness sake!

With shrilling tin fifes and drilling snare drums,
Trampling of boots and thunder of guns,
Norrington is coming to town.

He’ll halt your depredations,
Wrest back what you would take.
He’s built a sturdy gallows,
So be good for prudence sake.

You better watch out.
You better be sly.
All pirates he’ll rout, I'm telling you why.
Norrington is coming to town!

Comments

[honorat.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of you and your fantastic story, "Mutiny on the Dauntless," when I wrote this. I'm so glad you enjoyed James' Carol. I think I've been writing so much dire and angsty stuff that I have to break out in this silliness on the side. I'm honoured that you'd save it.

The parody muse has been rearing its ugly little head almost everytime I hear a song now. Thanks for feeding its twisty little ego.

[galadhir.livejournal.com]

Really?! *Squee*! I'm extremely flattered :) I thought I should quote some favourite lines, but could hardly pick one. The absolute tops might be:
'Gonna find out who wallows in vice.' LOL! and the whole of

He’s following in your wake.
He knows if you've been bad or worse,
So run fast for goodness sake!

Cos the rhymes are so clever, and 'bad or worse' is so unexpected but right. And extra kudos for using 'depredations'. I infinitely prefer this version to the normal one :)

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Yes, all Norrington's philosophy about eradicating pirates was just too good not to put in a song.

I started with the original song and just kept gradually changing words--somehow "bad or good" didn't seem piratey enough. LOL! So of course Jack goes from bad to worse!

Yay for four-syllable words in poems!

I prefer this version too. The other was too repetitious anyway. And hey, the Commodore in blue and gold is a much finer sight to contemplate under the tree than jolly old Saint Nick's bowl full of jelly in red.