Navy Parody Poetry: Norrington is Coming to Town

[honorat]

by Honorat
Rating: G (for good grief!)
Disclaimer: I swear I shot that demented muse against a wall at dawn, but the bloody thing is cursed. Zombie Parody Muse strikes again!

Summary: The Commodore was not amused that That Pirate was getting all the Christmas carols. So here's one for you, James! To the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town".

* * * * *

Norrington is Coming to Town!

You better watch out.
You better not loot.
You better not poach or pilfer or shoot.
Norrington is coming to town.

He's making a list, checking it twice,
Gonna find out who wallows in vice.
Norrington is coming to town.

He sees you when you're plundering.
He’s following in your wake.
He knows if you've been bad or worse,
So run fast for goodness sake!

With shrilling tin fifes and drilling snare drums,
Trampling of boots and thunder of guns,
Norrington is coming to town.

He’ll halt your depredations,
Wrest back what you would take.
He’s built a sturdy gallows,
So be good for prudence sake.

You better watch out.
You better be sly.
All pirates he’ll rout, I'm telling you why.
Norrington is coming to town!

Comments

[order_of_chaos]

Hear my internal shrieks of glee!!!!!!!!! This, I love.
*grins madly and rereads*

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Oooo! There went an eardrum! *capers about madly* So glad you liked the insanity!

[scarletseraph.livejournal.com]

Hee! I know what I'm singing come wassail-time this year!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

The holidays will never be the same again. "Wassail, wassail, all through the stockade. Our coats they are navy, our trim is brocade!" Damn that zombie muse!

[galadhir.livejournal.com]

Oh, fantastic! I'm adopting this as my theme tune! *Saves to memories*

You are extremely good at this, you know. LOL! Love it :)

[honorat.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of you and your fantastic story, "Mutiny on the Dauntless," when I wrote this. I'm so glad you enjoyed James' Carol. I think I've been writing so much dire and angsty stuff that I have to break out in this silliness on the side. I'm honoured that you'd save it.

The parody muse has been rearing its ugly little head almost everytime I hear a song now. Thanks for feeding its twisty little ego.

[elessil.livejournal.com]

ROFL! I LOVE these! *whistles happily*

[honorat.livejournal.com]

*Snicker* Having installed the new ear worm, I'm pleased to hear it's functioning as advertised. Thank you.

[hereswith.livejournal.com]

LOL! That's great :-)

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Why thank you! The demented muse is tickled that you approve!

[tiggothy.livejournal.com]

*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

I loveloveloveadore this! I'm gonna print it out & learn the words so I can sing it while I'm cooking Christmas dinner :-)

[honorat.livejournal.com]

*bounce* A squeeeeing fan! Are you sure something strange won't happen to the stuffing if you sing this stuff while cooking? The management hereby denies all liability if your turkey comes out blue!

I'm thrilled you like this so much. Thanks.

[marinarusalka.livejournal.com]

Yaaaay for a Norrington carol! And Yaaaay for you, for making me giggle like a fool this morning!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Yaaay for such a lovely comment. I'm glad to provide giggles service of the Royal Navy for your morning. Thank you very much.

[thekestrel.livejournal.com]

Haaaaaa....... Oh God!!! You've done it to me again! I'm laughing so hard I can't stop. I'm going to be singing this darn song all day and then some. Going to be getting some weird looks - too! I saved this one along with all the other Pirate tunes for the season. Keep it up. How about Silent Night? Or better yet -- Joy to the world... Norington has come. ect... Can't wait for more.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

These laughs brought to you, courtesy of the Zombie Muse, the Royal Navy, and the Letter P. You're getting weird looks? You have no idea, mate! I don't think the muse has the moxie to take on the sacred carols, but there are too many of these parodies already floating around my head as it is. I'm glad you enjoyed this one. Thanks.

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh -- too PERFECT!

My favorite was "With shrilling tin fifes and drilling snare drums,
Trampling of boots and thunder of guns" -- but the whole thing is superb, and superbly funny! Huzzah for the Doggerel Muse!

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

weemonkey6 and I were singing this together, btw. Love it!!

[demishock.livejournal.com]

I _LIKE_ the Zombie Parody Muse! *gigglefit*

I think it's twice as fun to poke fun at Norrington because he's such a stick-in-the-mud. Hehehe... *poke*

The mental pictures I got of him charging about after Jack cracked me up immensely...

[honorat.livejournal.com]

It's a good thing you like the Zombie Muse, because it seems to be in charge lately.

Norrington says to tell you he's ticklish and doesn't appreciated poking because squeaking is undignified in a commodore.

*Snerk* Norrie and Jack playing Hide and Go Seek.

Thanks. I'm glad you liked this.

*rolls on the floor laughing*

[aft-and-daft.livejournal.com]

:-D!!! Oh my, this is SO funny!!! I was squealing with laughter reading it, I love it, love it, love it!!! I still can't stop laughing! I never have really liked that song until now! And now I'm feeling all full of mirth and Christmas cheer (a lovely way to feel on a December Saturday). :-) Yay for the Zombie Parody Muse!!! :-D Thanks for posting this, it is very cleverly written! I think my very favourite line is: "Gonna find out who wallows in vice." LOL!! Though I really liked this line too: "He’ll halt your depredations,", and this verse was particularly rousing: "With shrilling tin fifes and drilling snare drums,
Trampling of boots and thunder of guns,
Norrington is coming to town."

Excellent and extremely witty!!! :-)

*Aw, come on, write some more, you know you want to* ;-) :-D

Re: *rolls on the floor laughing*

[honorat.livejournal.com]

*Squeee* I'm so happy this gave you such laughs--surely that must be good for your health! The Zombie Muse as public benefactor. The mind boggles. Christmas will keeping being merry, because the muse does want to write more! Don't say I didn't warn you. Thank so much for such an enthusiastic comment. I feel quite bouncy now. :D

[corrielle.livejournal.com]

*snerk* That is... brilliant. Poor Jack had better run...

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Yes, with Norrington on the rampage, there's no time to lose for Jack to make himself scarce! Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

[(Anonymous)]

That is wonderful. Please don't shoot that ingenious doggerel muse as you threatened below! (I'd take her gladly if you ever got tired of her.)

littlebird

"Silent night. Future bright.
Pirate swings by first light.
Watch, you citizen, mother and child
how he dances, the cutthroat so wild.
Port Royal live in peace!
Port Royal live in peace!"

[honorat.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid the dirty deed is done. But not to worry. The muse appears to be able to get in twice as much trouble as a zombie.

Wow! Parody of "Stille Nacht".
But you hanged the pirate! *Wails*

[rennie1265.livejournal.com]

Just got in from dinner out and the Andre Rieu concert for a friend's birthday to find this. Good thing I have decent walls and a lot of concrete otherwise the cackling would wake the neighbours. My hat is off to you as the undisputed Queen of Christmas Doggerel (apologies to Pen). All I can say is thank goodness the Rockies are decently high mountains and keep whatever is infecting Albertans out of my province.

Like the picture of Norrington making out his list of "naughty or vice' and the line "He sees you when you're plundering" - clever James with those pretty green eyes and you for doing this gem.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Yay for soundproofing and cackling. Pen and I do seem to be sitting in the same rather murky spring on Mt. Parnassus. The prevailing winds are also sending this towards Saskatchewan. Do we know anyone in Saskatchewan? Perhaps they should be warned.

All Pirates Beware the Commodore's Green Eyes! *Smirk* (Uh oh--Jaberwocky parody bunny just ran by--I think this Alberta air is fatal to literature).

Thanks for dropping by. I blame all this on the fact that it is exam week coming up and I have ten thousand papers to grade.

[drbillbongo.livejournal.com]

OMG!!
That is bloody brilliant!!!

*bounces and sings*

And would you call me weird if I told you that I like this version much better than the original?

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Whee! So glad you liked it. Of course you like it better than the original--it's got the pretty commodore and the pretty pirate in it! Ain't nothin' can't be improved with a dash of James! or a dash of Jack!

[dragonladyk.livejournal.com]

*laughs* *dies* Now if they played THAT on the radio, I wouldn't be sick of Christmas music!

DragonLady

[honorat.livejournal.com]

We must pervert the genre at every opportune moment! Thank you. I'm happy you enjoyed this.

[girithostien.livejournal.com]

ha ha, my god that is good! ha ha, if i hear silent night one more time I'm gonna take hostages! I needed that thanks!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Glad to provide laughs and an antidote to the familiar. Thank you for the lovely comment.

[classics-lover.livejournal.com]

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
OMFG!!!
Oh, made me laugh far too much when trying to revise for Greek exam. Made revision worthwhile! I'm saving this, and I'm going to sing this every time I hear it - in fact I did so this morning already.


*Wonders about potential for an "I Saw Three Ships" parody*
*whistles innocently*
*wanders off*

[honorat.livejournal.com]

*Squees back* I'm so happy you liked this. Laughter during exams is certainly necessary. I hope the Greek exam was a success. I remember Greek exams! *Falls down* Bad memory.

You never know what the Parody Muse will decide to do next. Thanks for the great comment.

[benevolentround.livejournal.com]

That. Is. The. Best. One. Of. All.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

This has certainly been the Platinum Hit of the Parody Carols this year. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you.