Navy Parody Poetry: Norrington is Coming to Town

[honorat]

by Honorat
Rating: G (for good grief!)
Disclaimer: I swear I shot that demented muse against a wall at dawn, but the bloody thing is cursed. Zombie Parody Muse strikes again!

Summary: The Commodore was not amused that That Pirate was getting all the Christmas carols. So here's one for you, James! To the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town".

* * * * *

Norrington is Coming to Town!

You better watch out.
You better not loot.
You better not poach or pilfer or shoot.
Norrington is coming to town.

He's making a list, checking it twice,
Gonna find out who wallows in vice.
Norrington is coming to town.

He sees you when you're plundering.
He’s following in your wake.
He knows if you've been bad or worse,
So run fast for goodness sake!

With shrilling tin fifes and drilling snare drums,
Trampling of boots and thunder of guns,
Norrington is coming to town.

He’ll halt your depredations,
Wrest back what you would take.
He’s built a sturdy gallows,
So be good for prudence sake.

You better watch out.
You better be sly.
All pirates he’ll rout, I'm telling you why.
Norrington is coming to town!

Comments

[order_of_chaos]

Hear my internal shrieks of glee!!!!!!!!! This, I love.
*grins madly and rereads*

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Oooo! There went an eardrum! *capers about madly* So glad you liked the insanity!

[scarletseraph.livejournal.com]

Hee! I know what I'm singing come wassail-time this year!

[galadhir.livejournal.com]

Oh, fantastic! I'm adopting this as my theme tune! *Saves to memories*

You are extremely good at this, you know. LOL! Love it :)

[elessil.livejournal.com]

ROFL! I LOVE these! *whistles happily*

[hereswith.livejournal.com]

LOL! That's great :-)

[honorat.livejournal.com]

The holidays will never be the same again. "Wassail, wassail, all through the stockade. Our coats they are navy, our trim is brocade!" Damn that zombie muse!

[tiggothy.livejournal.com]

*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

I loveloveloveadore this! I'm gonna print it out & learn the words so I can sing it while I'm cooking Christmas dinner :-)

[honorat.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of you and your fantastic story, "Mutiny on the Dauntless," when I wrote this. I'm so glad you enjoyed James' Carol. I think I've been writing so much dire and angsty stuff that I have to break out in this silliness on the side. I'm honoured that you'd save it.

The parody muse has been rearing its ugly little head almost everytime I hear a song now. Thanks for feeding its twisty little ego.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

*Snicker* Having installed the new ear worm, I'm pleased to hear it's functioning as advertised. Thank you.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Why thank you! The demented muse is tickled that you approve!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

*bounce* A squeeeeing fan! Are you sure something strange won't happen to the stuffing if you sing this stuff while cooking? The management hereby denies all liability if your turkey comes out blue!

I'm thrilled you like this so much. Thanks.

[marinarusalka.livejournal.com]

Yaaaay for a Norrington carol! And Yaaaay for you, for making me giggle like a fool this morning!

[thekestrel.livejournal.com]

Haaaaaa....... Oh God!!! You've done it to me again! I'm laughing so hard I can't stop. I'm going to be singing this darn song all day and then some. Going to be getting some weird looks - too! I saved this one along with all the other Pirate tunes for the season. Keep it up. How about Silent Night? Or better yet -- Joy to the world... Norington has come. ect... Can't wait for more.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Yaaay for such a lovely comment. I'm glad to provide giggles service of the Royal Navy for your morning. Thank you very much.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

These laughs brought to you, courtesy of the Zombie Muse, the Royal Navy, and the Letter P. You're getting weird looks? You have no idea, mate! I don't think the muse has the moxie to take on the sacred carols, but there are too many of these parodies already floating around my head as it is. I'm glad you enjoyed this one. Thanks.

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh -- too PERFECT!

My favorite was "With shrilling tin fifes and drilling snare drums,
Trampling of boots and thunder of guns" -- but the whole thing is superb, and superbly funny! Huzzah for the Doggerel Muse!

[demishock.livejournal.com]

I _LIKE_ the Zombie Parody Muse! *gigglefit*

I think it's twice as fun to poke fun at Norrington because he's such a stick-in-the-mud. Hehehe... *poke*

The mental pictures I got of him charging about after Jack cracked me up immensely...

*rolls on the floor laughing*

[aft-and-daft.livejournal.com]

:-D!!! Oh my, this is SO funny!!! I was squealing with laughter reading it, I love it, love it, love it!!! I still can't stop laughing! I never have really liked that song until now! And now I'm feeling all full of mirth and Christmas cheer (a lovely way to feel on a December Saturday). :-) Yay for the Zombie Parody Muse!!! :-D Thanks for posting this, it is very cleverly written! I think my very favourite line is: "Gonna find out who wallows in vice." LOL!! Though I really liked this line too: "He’ll halt your depredations,", and this verse was particularly rousing: "With shrilling tin fifes and drilling snare drums,
Trampling of boots and thunder of guns,
Norrington is coming to town."

Excellent and extremely witty!!! :-)

*Aw, come on, write some more, you know you want to* ;-) :-D

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

weemonkey6 and I were singing this together, btw. Love it!!

[galadhir.livejournal.com]

Really?! *Squee*! I'm extremely flattered :) I thought I should quote some favourite lines, but could hardly pick one. The absolute tops might be:
'Gonna find out who wallows in vice.' LOL! and the whole of

He’s following in your wake.
He knows if you've been bad or worse,
So run fast for goodness sake!

Cos the rhymes are so clever, and 'bad or worse' is so unexpected but right. And extra kudos for using 'depredations'. I infinitely prefer this version to the normal one :)

[corrielle.livejournal.com]

*snerk* That is... brilliant. Poor Jack had better run...

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Yes, all Norrington's philosophy about eradicating pirates was just too good not to put in a song.

I started with the original song and just kept gradually changing words--somehow "bad or good" didn't seem piratey enough. LOL! So of course Jack goes from bad to worse!

Yay for four-syllable words in poems!

I prefer this version too. The other was too repetitious anyway. And hey, the Commodore in blue and gold is a much finer sight to contemplate under the tree than jolly old Saint Nick's bowl full of jelly in red.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

*Squee* You liked it! I hope it gave you some holiday cheer. I'm certainly chortling about. I can't see a song without PotCing it. See what your little icon started!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

*Snerk* Oh for a tape recorder!