Sonnet: Dauntless

[honorat]

by Honorat

Summary: A Sonnet! For the Pirate poetry meme! I blame geek_mama_2 for bringing this to my attention. My last 10-page chapter "Night Passage" in “Aboard the Dauntless” summarized into fourteen lines. My very first Petrarchan sonnet with the volte coming after the octave. Do I ever feel Renaissancey!



Blindly, she flings her hull against the night,
Fragile wood, reckless of ravening stone.
A creature tormented, her timbers groan.
Close-hauled and heeling hard, daring this flight
Into oblivion, through head seas’ bite,
She claws the current’s threat. The dark waves moan
And dash her decks. A banshee wails—the lone
Wind knifes her canvas, stinging, like cold fright.
She shudders. But his calm hand on her wheel
Asks her to trust that with him she will swing
Through wind and thunder's roar. Soon will her keel
Caress calm waters, soft breezes will sing
In her white sails. “Hold on, love.” A bell’s peal,
Fierce as her own heart, this stranger’s words ring.

Comments

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

I love the alliteration in this, as I told you. Very well done.

[kellan_the_tabby]

Okay...

Wow.

I always admire someone who can put that much _feeling_ and story into a fixed-form poem like a sonnet. Free verse is hard enough, but this stuff...

Very, very nice work.

[sparky-darky.livejournal.com]

I think it must be Fate-- she hates me. I come home from an entire day of English literature and Keats and his versions of others peoples' styles (thank God he finally made his own... >_<) and find... this.

Though of course, your poem is far more enjoyable and far less depressing. I find it quite admirable how your style did not feel at all restricted in a fixed-style poem, and also how well the rhyme scheme works. Petrarchan sonnets rarely work in English in my mind, but only in Italian.

Once again, ship personification is one of my favourite elements of your work. You have managed to capture the danger and tenseness of the scene, whilst making the Dauntless seem so vulnerable whilst being fearless. I also liked the image of a banshee-- it added to the unnatural atmosphere, and really amplified the idea of a threat.

The change of tone in the sestet came across well-- the sibilance in 'caress' and 'soft' etcetera made for a much more gentle atmosphere. It's interesting how Jack conjures up that kind of aura, but then I suppose it's the mark of a patient but brave person that can guide a clumsy ship through a ferocious storm for fifteen hours...

[thekestrel.livejournal.com]

"Hold on, love." Fierce as her own heart, this stranger's words ring. Wonderfully done - I can't do poetry this well. You've given the Dauntless her due, and so to has Jack. I wonder - will she miss him?

[ladyhamilton.livejournal.com]

*flail* This is amazingly wonderful! I am in awe of your poetic skill. Must go read the story now...

A decent excuse to use this icon...

[myystic.livejournal.com]

Hey, a Petrarchan sonnet! I, for the life of me, cannot write Petrarchan sonnets. Half way through I always wind up forgetting that I'm supposed to be doing so, and I mince pentameters and forget the rhyme scheme (usually in the form of an ending cuplet). The result is never pretty, and usually (when read aloud) sounds like bad Beatnick poetry or--worse--amateur hip-hop. So kudos first go for form and function here.

And, as a free-verse writer, I must admire someone who can pack that much punch into measured lines like that. You convey the chapter beautifully and with lovely images in the most rigid poetry form invented. Counting syllables, lines, AND rhythm? My head hurts just thinking about the effort.