Poetry: Jack Sparrow's Letter to Santa Claus

[honorat]

by Honorat
Rating: G
Pairing: Jack/Pearl
Warnings: Bad Doggerel
Disclaimer: Blame it on the rum!
Summary: For the 12 days of Christmas challenge at blackpearlsails. I had hoped the Muse of Art would show up, but what you get is the Zombie Parody Muse! Sing this one to the tune of I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas


* * * * *

I want a tall black pirate ship for Christmas
The Black Pearl is the only ship I want
Don’t want the girl, no clinky Aztec gold
I want my bonnie lady Pearl to sail the world so bold.

I want my ship Barbossa stole, for Christmas.
I don’t think that should be too hard to do.
He has a date with hell that has been too long overdue
I’ll shoot him with his single
Shot and boot him right on through.

I can see me now on Isle de Muerte
Creeping in that cave
Oh what horror and surprises
When Barbossa realizes
That I’ll wreck his plans my ship to save.

I want a tall black pirate ship for Christmas
Only my long lost ship Black Pearl will do
No Interceptor, no Navy Dauntless
I only love the dark ship that I so miss
And my sky chasing Black Pearl loves me too.

I want a tall black pirate ship for Christmas
The Black Pearl is the only ship I want
Norrington says he’ll stretch my neck, but then
Turner says that’s not a fate that’s fit for decent men.

I want a tall black pirate ship for Christmas
I don’t think Norrington will mind, do you?
He won’t have to chase and hang me and my crew.
Just give us one day’s head start,
That’s the sporting thing to do.

I can see me now off Fort Charles high walls
Diving through the air.
O what joy and what surprise
When the water clears my eyes
To see my wondrous Black Pearl sailing there.

I want the freedom of my ship for Christmas
Only a tall black pirate ship will do
No jail cells; no hanging in the wind
I only want horizons that will never ever end
And my Black Pearl wants those horizons, too.

Comments

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Bwahahaha!! That was GREAT! You are of the brilliance.

I love that hippopotamus song, and this fits so perfectly!

Thank you for your fabulous contribution to the Twelve Days celebration!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Thank you for inspiring such a fun season. It's been great to see all the family home for the holidays, as it were.

I'm glad you enjoyed this bit of fluffy nonsense. That song is my son's current favourite, so it sprang trippingly to mind.

[whensheflies.livejournal.com]

*gigglesnort* I love this. It's perfect for Jack.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm so happy to have inspired giggles and snorts.

[jenthegypsy.livejournal.com]

Hey! I left a complementary comment for this last night - where'd it go?
In short, and as one poet/parodist to another ~ Wheeeeeeeee!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

It's over on blackpearlsails :D Thanks for both comments. Yes, I saw you'd posted poetry, so I worried about doing the same, but this was all I had started. Apparently there was something in the rum! As soon as I get my class prep done for the first day of the semester, I'll be back to look at all the other entries and read yours in detail. I enjoyed the first few lines of yours enormously! But I think the loveliest thing about this season was how if felt like old times to see everyone here posting again.

[torn-eledhwen.livejournal.com]

Brava!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

*bows* Thank you!

[aletheiafelinea.livejournal.com]

Santa was impressed, no doubts, since Jack got his lady. :)

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Santa knows who's naughty and nice :D How could he resist?

[florencia7.livejournal.com]

That was so utterly wonderful! ^^ I loved it!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much.

[virgo-79.livejournal.com]

**giggles madly** You're awesome.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. I'm delighted this produced holiday giggles.

[pearlseed.livejournal.com]

You've writ my favorite, my true, my bestest most lovin' pair you know, man and beautiful shippy.

"I only want horizons that will never ever end
And my Black Pearl wants those horizons, too."
Just lovely dearone, just the bestest cos it's been in my life every single day since the first movie==I've friends I visit regularly at their ranch==the joke is the last thing they do before they go to bed is set up Pirates for me on the dvd cos I usually roll in pretty much after dark. I check out the Milky Way and then fall in love all over again.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, Jack and his ship are my favourite "ship" too. When he takes her helm at the end of the first movie--mmmmm--it's the bridegroom caressing his beloved!

I'm glad you enjoyed my little bit of fluff. Thanks so much for commenting.

[ladymouse2.livejournal.com]

Eeee! *Bouncy* *bouncy*...

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Wheee! *bounces back*

[hereswith.livejournal.com]

Oh, lol! That was wonderful, and I want a tall black pirate ship for Christmas has such a ring to it :-) I also loved the ending lines, of course they both want that.

Really nice to "see" you again, too!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed this little bit of seasonal fluff. Jack and the Pearl are my favourite couple to write :D It's nice to see you sailing these waters, too!

Letter to Santa Claus

[(Anonymous)]

Oh I do love this one. It's exactly what Jack would say to Santa, methinks. I love the Black Pearl/Jack combination ..I do not see him ever loving any woman as much as he loves his Pearl, and I do believe she loves him just as much.
Ravin *passin the rum bottle around*

Re: Letter to Santa Claus

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the lovely comments. Jack and his Pearl are my favourite pair to write. *raises a toast to the grandest couple*