I think it must be Fate-- she hates me. I come home from an entire day of English literature and Keats and his versions of others peoples' styles (thank God he finally made his own... >_<) and find... this.
Though of course, your poem is far more enjoyable and far less depressing. I find it quite admirable how your style did not feel at all restricted in a fixed-style poem, and also how well the rhyme scheme works. Petrarchan sonnets rarely work in English in my mind, but only in Italian.
Once again, ship personification is one of my favourite elements of your work. You have managed to capture the danger and tenseness of the scene, whilst making the Dauntless seem so vulnerable whilst being fearless. I also liked the image of a banshee-- it added to the unnatural atmosphere, and really amplified the idea of a threat.
The change of tone in the sestet came across well-- the sibilance in 'caress' and 'soft' etcetera made for a much more gentle atmosphere. It's interesting how Jack conjures up that kind of aura, but then I suppose it's the mark of a patient but brave person that can guide a clumsy ship through a ferocious storm for fifteen hours...
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Though of course, your poem is far more enjoyable and far less depressing. I find it quite admirable how your style did not feel at all restricted in a fixed-style poem, and also how well the rhyme scheme works. Petrarchan sonnets rarely work in English in my mind, but only in Italian.
Once again, ship personification is one of my favourite elements of your work. You have managed to capture the danger and tenseness of the scene, whilst making the Dauntless seem so vulnerable whilst being fearless. I also liked the image of a banshee-- it added to the unnatural atmosphere, and really amplified the idea of a threat.
The change of tone in the sestet came across well-- the sibilance in 'caress' and 'soft' etcetera made for a much more gentle atmosphere. It's interesting how Jack conjures up that kind of aura, but then I suppose it's the mark of a patient but brave person that can guide a clumsy ship through a ferocious storm for fifteen hours...