Poetry: Bad Doggerel

[honorat]

by Honorat
Rated: G
Disclaimer: I want PotC for Christmas!

Summary: This was inspired by geek_mama_2's icon of a Santa-hat-wearing Jack waking up on the island to discover the Rum is Gone! Okay, I have no idea where this came from or why it's here, but weird Christmas PotC poetry! LOL! Bad doggerel! No biscuit!


Twas the morn after the bonfire when all through the isle
Snoring resounded. Jack slept with a smile.
The pirate was tucked up all snug in the sand
With visions of rum bottles clutched in his hand.
When out on the beach there arose such a clatter
He sprang from his snooze to see what was the matter.
The sun on the breast of the glaring sea spread
Gave him a pain worse than oars on the head
When what to his wondering eyes should appear
But grubby Elizabeth with a keg of rum dear.
She was dressed in a white shift from shoulders to foot
And her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
More rapid than seagulls her twinkling legs flew,
She tossed the barrel and the whole island blew!
Like powder in pistols and cannons in war
The palm trees exploded, the rum was no more.
Up to the treetops the flames and smoke rose
Burning the food and stinging his nose.
“No! Not good! Stop! Not good!” The poor pirate cried.
But the sad deed was done. The lassie had lied.
Jack threatened and whined, he frothed and he waved
He stomped and he stamped, he fumed and he raved.
Then Liz heard him exclaim, ere he shot her on sight,
“But why is the rum gone? It just ain’t right!”

Comments

[jedipirate.livejournal.com]

*snort!* omd! so funny! XD

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Ha! Made you laugh! *Looks at your Icon. SNERK!* Thank you for commenting.

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Oh, clever!!! Thanks for making me smile. :)

[honorat.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. And thank you, I think, for inspiring such nuttiness!

[cymbeline.livejournal.com]

Alas poor Jack! Very creative and funny.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Yes, poor Jack. He was hoping to be a legend and here he is the subject of parody poetry. I'm so ashamed! Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[aft-and-daft.livejournal.com]

*rolling with laughter*

absolutely AWESOME!! :-) hee hee hee!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Why thank you. I'm always glad to provide a chuckle.

[demishock.livejournal.com]

(I'm still here! I sneak your fics in between classes!)

ZOMG, you fic, you draw, and now you write poetry... goodness!

What a great way to open the Christmas season. *glee* Poor Jack... but he is so fun to make fun of. :P

Jack's kind of like a reversed Santa Claus himself... he steals the presents... Jack is the Grinch? Only less green? Writing this composition is frying my brain. XDDD

You slay me~ ^_^V

[honorat.livejournal.com]

I feel like an illegal drug. I sneak writing fics between classes.

I even posted a Sonnet (http://www.livejournal.com/users/honorat/12929.html) here once. Specialization is for insects! LOL.

Yes, it is irresistible to bother the pirate. We can't let sleeping pirates lie, after all.

Jack as the Grinch--Oh the plot bunnies that image stirs up! If Johnny D. had his way, he probably would be green.

*offers resuscitation kit*

Thanks for the lovely fried comment. I always love fries with my feedback.

[demishock.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, sonnet... * . * That takes skill. And a LOT of patience. We had to try to write a sonnet in my Creative Writing class. I was like, "Rules... constraints... no..." ^^;

Johnny Depp is a brilliant, talented man. * . * (It doesn't hurt his case that he's damn sexy...)

*hums* "You're a hot one, Mr. Sparrow... You've got a real nice keel..." *cough*hack*wheeze* Okay, I'm done. XD;

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahaha! How's this one: Sparrow, the blue-nosed pirate, had a very shiny nose *choke*sputter*spork* I'm outa here. This muse needs deep-sixing.

[thekestrel.livejournal.com]

Ha, Ha, Ha - LOL :) I needed a good laugh, and you gave it too me! Another keeper!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Made ya laugh! Ha! I'm glad to deliver timely humour. Sometimes my muse has a weird day.

[rennie1265.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm beginning to get worried about you. First pirating T'was the Night Before Christmas for nefarious purposes, now absconding with Rudolph! That doesn't even count the "bad doggerel, no biscuit" pun. Have you been into the rum again? Naughty pirate. Must be something in the air out there.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Rum? But why is the rum gone? Oh right. Pendragginink assures me that we were locked inside the keg. Deck the Halls with drunken pirates!Falalalalala! Tis the season to steal gold plates! FALALALALALA! Pearls and Diamonds without measure!FALALALA(hic!)LA! Everyone lock up your treasure! Falalalalalalalala! There! Thatsh better! (hic!)

*Wanders off singing, "I'm dreaming of a Caribbean Christmas! Just like the ones we used to know! Where the beaches glisten and pirates listen to tales of gold drifting like snow!"* (Burp)

[rennie1265.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. Well, just stay out of the rigging until you sober up a trifle. I really don't need to have visions of drunken pirates (Pen and Honorat) hanging by their piratey little toes from the rat lines. Drat. Too late, now I'm seeing pirates hanging in the rigging like Christmas ornaments. Shove aside, mate, leave some of the rum for me.

By the way, I wrote an epilogue to the last chapter of Kettle as Elsa wanted to hear how Jack's bird bath went. I was kinda curious meself.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

I'm in the rigging?! Hanging by my toes?! I'm terrified of heights! Pen this is all your fault! I think I've had too much rum. Here it is mate--but don't say I didn't warn you.

Oooh bird baths! I wanna see too!

[classics-lover.livejournal.com]

Heeheeheehee!
Oh, make me giggle much today!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Glad to provide giggles! Thanks for dropping by on the madness.

[torn-eledhwen.livejournal.com]

Heheh! Brilliant!

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Mad Genius of course! *Snerk* Thanks.