Pirate Carol: Jack’s Gettin’ Nothin’ for Christmas

[honorat]

by Honorat
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Blame it on the rum!
Summary: This doggerel muse has got to be deep-sixed. I can't stop writing execrable poetry! Beverage Alert!

* * * * *

Jack’s Gettin’ Nothin’ for Christmas (to the tune of I’m Gettin’ Nothin’ for Christmas)

I gave his girl a corset strip,
Is he upset with me!
I commandeered a Navy ship.
Somebody snitched on me.

I shed those chains and broke each link,
Let the Interceptor sink,
Jumped the walls into the drink;
He’s right incensed with me.

I’m gettin’ nothin’ for Christmas.
James and the Navy are mad.
I’m gettin’ nothin’ for Christmas,
‘Cause I ain’t been nothin’ but bad.

* * * * *

I always had ten times his style.
Was he upset with me!
I showed up on that treasure isle.
Somebody snitched on me!

I ate an apple from his bowl,
Stole a coin and sold my soul,
Shot his chest with a great big hole;
He’s right irate at me.

I’m gettin’ nothin’ for Christmas.
Hector Barbossa is mad.
I’m gettin’ nothin’ for Christmas,
‘Cause I ain’t been nothin’ but bad.

* * * * *

I used Will Turner for a bait.
Is she upset with me!
I left that kiss until too late!
Am I upset with me!

I took her hostage on the dock,
Told her my stories were just talk,
Had her restrained under a lock;
She’s right outraged at me.

I’m gettin’ nothin’ for Christmas.
Elizabeth Swann is mad.
I’m gettin’ nothin’ for Christmas,
‘Cause I ain’t been nothin’ but bad.

* * * * *

Hey! I was merely an almost innocent bystander!
I’ll just be borrowin’ those gifts without permission!
CJS

Comments

[thekestrel.livejournal.com]

Bad, bad, pirate Jack - heeeee, I love finding pirate Christmas songs in the morning. And yeah, Jack would love finding kohl in his stocking, how else is he going to get it? Ah - well, he could pinch it from Scarlette. Another keeper.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Oh no! I just had a perfectly horrific vision of a parody of Bad Bad Leroy Brown! How can you do this to me?! Will this never-to-be-sufficiently-despised muse ever leave me alone?

Love the picture of Jack stealing Scarlet's make-up--no wonder she slaps him! LOL. Thank you so much for the comment.

[(Anonymous)]

Your welcome for the insparation - and the tune - LOL :) Now you have to write it - don't you?

[thekestrel.livejournal.com]

Shoot I replied with out logging on - last comment is mine. Sorry.

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Ah the joys of LJ. I suppose the bloody freakin' muse will not be denied. It's hopping around waving "It's My Hanging and I'll Laugh if I Want To!" now!!!!!!

[thekestrel.livejournal.com]

Great!!! Now you have that "tune" bopping around in my head! Thanks! :) I think I sense another Jack Christmas, or other song, on the LJ agenda. I'll be looking for it. LOL